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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28591890">Marry me, joder</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zxhir/pseuds/Zxhir'>Zxhir</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Love, Maca - Freeform, The time in the caravan, Zule - Freeform, Zurena, proposal, proposal gone wrong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:40:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,235</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28591890</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zxhir/pseuds/Zxhir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Macarena proposes, but things don’t quite go the way she planned.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Macarena Ferreiro/Zulema Zahir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Marry me, joder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We’re out of toilet paper again…” Zulema groans as she hurls an empty roll across the caravan, “you have to stop using it to wipe the counter. We have a dishcloth right here.” </p><p>Maca doesn’t pay much attention to what she is saying or to what she is pointing. She is busy looking for something in the pockets on her jacket and her mind is rather occupied. </p><p>“I’m going out, do you need anything?” She asks and when it hits the blonde that she’s about to leave, she spins around. </p><p>”Oh uh, okay…” she stutters “ Hey can I— can I ask you something first?” Zulema is already on her way out so Maca steps up closer to the brunette to prevent her from leaving, “can you listen to me for <em> one </em>second?” She begs and Zulema frowns. </p><p>There was no use in trying to wait for the right time to do this. It was never the right time with them and this is something Maca will never feel ready to do, she just has to do it. She only needs a second of courage… </p><p>“<em> Venga, Rubia.” </em>She mutters and gestures towards the car outside, “The store closes in half an hour.” </p><p>”Will you marry me?” She blurts out. Zulema doesn’t move a single feature. It takes entire seconds for her to react,</p><p>“... what?” </p><p>“You heard me.” Maca states, eyes locked with hers. Zulema still looks like she doesn’t understand the words coming out of the younger woman’s mouth.</p><p>“What are you talking abo—“ </p><p>Maca suddenly drops to one knee and holds up a little box that she snaps open in front of the brunette. Inside of it, there’s a simple, but absolutely enchanting diamond ring. Big, emerald eyes fall to the piece of jewelry; the gemstone full of promises, then comes up to meet Maca’s once again. She suddenly swallows, which she’s been needing to do ever since Maca asked the question and her mouth went dry. </p><p>“Are you serious..?” She asks, because she honestly cannot tell. She just can’t believe it, despite the way the blonde is proposing in the most cliché way there is. </p><p>“Please, you’re making me nervous Zulema…” Maca chuckles, cheeks rosy, “this is the part where you’re supposed to yell ‘yes’ and throw yourself into my arms and all that, you know.” </p><p>Zulema feels like she’s about to suffer a panic attack. She never expected she would ever experience this in her entire life. She doesn’t even know if she has ever wanted to either. What does this even mean? Is Macarena actually asking her to spend the rest of her days with her? Does she actually want to be with her <em> forever?  </em></p><p>Macarena suddenly gets off the floor and onto her feet, jewelry box still on display in her hands. It makes Zulema snap out of her thought process and look into the light green eyes, that are now on the same level as her own and full of worry.</p><p>“Zulema..?”</p><p>The brunette averts her gaze. She doesn’t know what to say and she feels horrible for it. Part of her is terrified, another part of her is completely euphoric but the third part of her feels something that she does not usually feel at all,</p><p>Selflessness. </p><p>Because she knows that she’s not the relationship type of person. She’s not the romantic, family oriented partner that Macarena needs and deserves. Prison has ruined the poor woman and taught her to settle for less than she is worthy of… She was making a mistake. She takes a deep breath,</p><p>“Maca—…” she starts, her voice strained with regret and Macarena already has a bad gut feeling about it. She watches the older woman step up to her and shut the little box closed between their hands, “You don’t want to be with me.” She whispers. </p><p>Maca’s heart breaks at those words. Not because she’s right, because she isn't, she’s <em> so </em>wrong, but because Zulema genuinely believes Maca is better off without her and will resist her own chance of happiness for her sake. It breaks her heart to know that she thinks she’s not enough and when Zulema is sure of something, nothing and no one can change her mind.</p><p>“Yes, I do.” She states firmly, without a trace of doubt but the brunette shakes her head before she has even finished that short sentence and it forms a lump in her throat, “<em> Yes I— </em>“ Zulema puts a finger over her lips,</p><p>“Don’t do this,” She warns, though the tone in her voice remains warm, “don’t cry over this. It’s not worth it<em> . </em> ” The finger that was pressed against her mouth now wiggles from side to side before her. <em> ‘No’. </em></p><p>A tear falls from the moss green eyes nonetheless and the brunette quickly wipes it away with a swift move of her thumb, as if the faster they can get rid of it, the easier it is to pretend it never fell. Her brows suddenly shoot up and as she abruptly straightens her back, she lets out a light sigh, seemingly done dwelling but the blonde knows that it’s a facade. She always makes that ridiculous face, pursed lips and wide eyes, when she kicks herself for feeling sentimental and is in desperate need of different thoughts. She knows her <em> that </em>well. </p><p>“I need to go now if you want to be able to wipe your ass before tomorrow with anything else but a towel,” Zulema says, as if the previous moments never occurred. Maca wipes another tear and is not going to turn to look at the brunette. She feels embarrassed. Humiliated. She wasn’t done talking, but Zulema clearly is. </p><p>“<em> Te quiero.” </em> She says, just as Zulema is about to walk out the door, loudly enough to make sure that she hears it. The older woman stops in her tracks and it gets her hopes up momentarily, but just seconds later, the door shuts closed without a single word uttered. </p><p>The blonde falls back into the couch behind her. It feels like her heart is bleeding. What was the point of all this then? The warm embrace she offered at night in the bed that they shared, the dinners they cooked for each other, the laughs about the most ridiculous things, the taunting for fun, the the stargazing, the tender touches, the <em> sex…  </em></p><p>Her gaze linger among the painted clouds in the ceiling when she realizes she hasn’t heard the car leave yet. She throws a glance out the window. It’s still parked where they parked it the last time, when they went for a road trip to stargaze elsewhere than the usual spot on the roof. That night they ended up atop the roof of the vehicle instead, far up a mountain, trying to keep each other warm with Zulema’s bomber jacket when Maca regretted bringing the one of leather. </p><p><em> Whatever </em>, she thinks, before her eyes subconsciously drift over to the kitchen counter and spots something that makes her frown in confusion. The car keys. She throws an eye at the clock on the wall. The grocery store closes in five minutes. It is a ten minute drive from here… </p><p>Zulema is sitting in the driver seat when the door on the passenger side suddenly cracks open. She doesn’t even bat an eye. Macarena respectfully takes a seat and makes sure she is comfortable before she lets the sound of nothing invade the small space around them. The brunette is busy staring out into the woods ahead of her. </p><p> </p><p>“The store is closed.” Maca speaks to break the silence. </p><p>“I know.” Zulema replies. The blonde nods. </p><p>“So I guess we’ll have to find something else to wipe with until tomorrow,” she says, “<em> hojas </em> , <em> o algo así…”  </em></p><p>It only takes a second before they both burst into quiet chuckles and their eyes finally meet. </p><p>“We can go tomorrow,” Zulema drawls, “together.” </p><p>“I don’t want to go with you.” Maca says and the brunette throws her a glare. They always do it together, when they are on good terms, that is.  </p><p>“Why not?” She asks, a little offended in all honesty.</p><p>“You think that’s odd, huh?” The blonde cocks a brow and looks at the confused woman next to her, “Why? Because we always do it together?” </p><p>“Well, yes.” The older woman nods as she shrugs, not getting the point she is trying to make.</p><p>“We also spend all of our time together,” she states, “so why is it so illogical to you that I want to spend the rest of it with you as well?” </p><p> </p><p>Silence. </p><p> </p><p>Zulema sighs, deeply. She isn’t good with words and Maca knows it so she gives her the time she needs to find the right ones. </p><p>“... I’m not someone you want to be in love with.” She says and Maca patiently waits for her to elaborate, “I will ruin your life, more than I already have.” </p><p>“Why do you think that?” The blonde asks.</p><p>“Because—“ she throws her hands in the air frustratedly. She cannot explain. She just <em> knows </em> , “It’s in my nature to push people away. To manipulate and revenge those who hurt me. And we hurt each other, Maca. <em> Va a estallará.” </em></p><p>They’re looking at each other again. Maca purses her lips. </p><p>“We do, indeed…” she nods, “but God knows we hurt each other even more by never letting anyone in to change us for the better. You’re not the same person you were in prison and you know exactly why that is.”</p><p>Zulema averts her gaze before Maca continues,</p><p>“Is it the freedom, the heists and the money?” She asks, “or is it the feeling of being at home, with someone by your side who can show you what it is like to have a sense of normality in this crazy world?” </p><p>The brunette doesn’t respond because it isn’t really a question if they both know the answer. </p><p>“I hated you back in prison, you know that… and I think that is the problem,” she continues, “you forget that I’m in love with you<em> in spite</em> of the past. I know you Zulema, you don’t have to tell me about your ways. I’m familiar with every single one of them. You don’t have to be afraid that one day you will surprise me with something new, because I already know you will. You never run out of surprises and that’s what makes me feel alive when I’m with you.” </p><p>Zulema suddenly snorts,</p><p>“Cut the melodramatic crap already, <em> Rubia.”  </em></p><p>Maca smiles. She knows it softens her pride and ego and she hates the feeling of it, yet she allows it to happen because she knows it’s for her own good. One step at a time. Macarena has taught her that, like most other things about love, time and patience. </p><p>“If you’re trying to do me a favor… Please don’t do this.” The blonde pleads. Zulema fiddles with her lighter, but keeps listening attentively, “This won’t make either of us happy. You think you know best, but if you knew what I feel, you wouldn’t do this.” </p><p>”That’s enough, I’m gonna throw up.” Zulema laughs and quickly wipes a tear from her cheek, praying it goes unnoticed. </p><p>”<em> Vale,” </em> the other woman suddenly speaks and tosses the box over to Zulema, who jumps at how it bounces on her lap, ”So marry me, <em> joder </em>.” </p><p>The brunette picks up the box, takes a moment to observe the black velvet and then bends it open. The ring is stunning. Clean, simple and big enough to flaunt with pride. She throws Maca a glance. The blonde is looking back at her.</p><p>“It’s beautiful.” She says, her voice full of wonder even though it’s low and rather quiet. She pulls it from the white cushion, holding it between two fingers as if she’s never handled expensive jewels before.</p><p>“May I?” Maca asks. Zulema hesitates but hands it to her eventually. The blonde holds a hand out, urging the brunette to mimic its stance and she does, she even spreads her fingers just a little. </p><p>Maca gently takes her hand in one of her own and slides the ring onto her finger with the other. Zulema doesn’t know if it is the cold of the white gold moving onto her skin or the once-in-a-lifetime moment that is giving her goosebumps all over… </p><p>When it’s in place, Maca lets go and they both find themselves unable to stop staring, thinking how perfectly it fits and how given it is that it belongs right there. Zulema catches herself doing it and snaps out of it just as fast. Her hands fall back between her thighs and she leans back in her seat before proceeding to gaze out the window yet again. </p><p>“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Maca teases. The other woman just snorts, “Besides, if it goes to hell…” the blonde shrugs, “it goes to hell.” She throws Zulema a glance while she isn’t looking, “It’s not like we have anything to lose. No children, no pets…” </p><p>“Do you want children?” Zulema suddenly asks. Maca meets her eyes, a little taken aback by the question because she knows why she is asking,</p><p>“... <em> Sí </em>.” She admits, longing lingering behind the simple answer.</p><p>Zulema nods and turns her attention back to the world outside as if she has started to mentally prepare already. </p><p> </p><p>This was going to be one hell of a ride.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m ZahirXOXO on Twitter 👋🏼✨</p></blockquote></div></div>
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